Thursday, April 7, 2011

What a difference a year makes...

April 6th. That is a date that had huge significance to Randy and I in 2010. First, on this date last year, I miscarried. It was four days after our 1st ultrasound appt in which we were able to see our little one on the screen. Our appt was a success, we saw a heartbeat, and took a huge sigh of relief thinking we'd be okay...  We had just started to get excited, had the ultrasound picture on the fridge, and began telling a few our news and then... we lost it. It was sad and we cried and mourned and then.. we moved on. Then the last weekend in July, we found out we were pregnant again. My due date??? April 6th, 2011. I tried to think that this was a positive sign, I mean I was due on the date I miscarried the year before! The date would now no longer be a sad day but more a happy one! However, we once again went to the OB/GYN for our 1st ultrasound appt and this time... we saw our little one..however there was no heartbeat. The pregnancy wasn't viable, and again we had miscarried. So needless to say, April 6th was not a date I was looking foward too. At all.

However, it was here and past...and honestly... I am really okay. Of course I get a little sad when I think of the pregnancies that we lost, but we are in a totally different place now. We are so positive about our adoption and so, so, excited for the baby that is coming to us!! I truly feel like this journey that Randy and I are on was the plan from the beginning. This was the WAY we were suppose to become parents. For whatever reason..... giving birth was not in the cards for me.. but I'm okay with the hand I was dealt. I feel good about it and it truly just feels right. Knowing that, and knowing that my husband feels the same way about this... makes April 6th just another day.  As I've said before, we ARE going to be parents, and our child is out there and waiting for us. We already love him/her so much and can't wait to meet them! xo


  1. Enjoy this journey; it will be among the most magnificent, complicated, stressful, expensive and amazing experiences of your lives. And at the end of it (which is really just the beggining, after all) you will be looking into the beautiful, innocent eyes of the child you were meant to parent.

    So excited for the two (three) of you and looking forward to following your journey.

    Best wishes!

  2. Hi,
    My husband and I are also adopting from Russia and would love a friend to talk to that is going through the same things we are! My email address is Please email me if you would like to and congrats.