Missing our Boy!!!!

So, we have been home from Moscow now for a little over two weeks but it feels like it's been two years. Seriously, I knew it would be hard to meet our son, fall so in love with him, and then have to leave him there.. but I didn't realize how much I'd actually hurt missing him. Every night before bed, I watch a couple of the videos we took of him. Just hearing his laugh and seeing his smile warms my heart. I just can't, can't wait to be back and to hold him again. : (  We haven't got our court date yet, and I'm not really sure when we will receive it. We were told from our agency that it could take several weeks before we know when we go back. Due to the holiday break.. we are hoping that we'll know in the next couple weeks before they close for their break. Then at least we'll have a few weeks to get our travel plans ready! We still are going back and forth between whether or not we want to do one long trip or two. Originally we were planning on going three times over, but now, after Trip 1, I am leaning towards just staying in Moscow for the time between court and gotcha day. Truth is it will come down to finances and how many days it will be. I just want to get back and see him!!

I also can't help being a bit jealous of some of my blogger friends out there that traveled right before us, or when we did, but are already back in Russia or are heading back soon and will have their little one home for Christmas. (Please know, I am so happy for you all and think it's so wonderful!!! Just wish we were ALSO going to be going back before the holiday!) Overall, I shouldn't complain and know that I should just be so thankful. We have been given this wonderful gift. Our beautiful, perfect, precious son! I have a great husband and now we are parents and it is a blessing and I am so grateful!!! However it's hard when you miss him so much, when we are halfway around the world from him... constantly thinking about him and wondering what he's doing!! Is he sleeping right now? Laughing? Eating? Playing? Is he okay? sick? sad? happy? Does he remember us? Does he know we are coming back for him? Does he feel how much we love him!!?? 

In some ways it's like a cruel joke.. or some sort of test. We have been waiting so long to be parents, and now we are but we can't be with our son. Ugh, it's so frustrating sometimes. I just miss him and want him home!!! I know that January will be here before we know it, and then this will all be a distant memory as we'll have Brayden home with us FOREVER so soon! I guess these are our labor pains... just a different kind. : ) 

Okay, so now that I've got that out.. on to getting ready for his arrival!! Well, My family & friends threw me a baby shower on Saturday, November 19th. (Brayden's 10 month birthday!) It was so amazing and we got so much stuff that we needed for Brayden!!! Another cool thing that they did, is that every guest brought a favorite childhood book to build his library!! We got some fantastic books and all of them were inscribed with special messages to Brayden!! It was such a wonderful thing they did!!! I was truly so overwhelmed by all the generosity and by how excited our family and friends are for us!! Everyone can't wait to meet him and for him to come home!!

My Baby Shower for Brayden! 

Adorable favors that my friend Mo made!!! : ) 

Mothers and Daughters & The Proud Nana in the middle! 

The girls!! 

Along with the shower, we have finished painting his room, ordered his nursery furniture, and the bedding is all here!!! Pictures to come once we get the furniture and his room all set up!!! Other than getting the room ready, we (well, mostly me) have been shopping like crazy! I literally buy something for him everyday!!! I am in complete nesting mode!! Having so much fun but also feeling a bit like I can't stop!! : ) Another reason I need him home soon!!  : ) 

I hope everyone had a great thanksgiving!! We have so much to be thankful for this year and just can't wait until the holiday season next year when Brayden will be celebrating with us at home!!!! Fingers crossed we get a court date soon!!!! : )